Missing writing…

Going back to a 5 day week has taken away my obvious blog writing time and at the end of a day where I’m up at 6.30, feeding lads, dressing lads, taking lads to nursery, coming back to go straight into work which is CRAZY busy, working all day (including a lunchtime walk I cannot survive without), picking up the lads, feeding lads, bathing lads, bedtime for lads… eat dinner staring blankly at nothing, attempt adult conversation with lad dad, fail because brain is broken, TV, bed…. then repeat. I thought I just didn’t have the brain capacity to write.

I think it is 100% important to add here that all of this load is very much shared by lad dad, he is super hands on as I’ve mentioned before and I’m lucky and eternally grateful to him. Although I suspect I don’t tell him that enough. I’m not very gushy. Want some dry humour? Sarcasm? I’m your gal. Lovey dovey bursts of praise, not my thing. I suspect I’m awful to live with. I’ll show him this complimentary paragraph then run away screaming so I don’t have to see his reaction and that will be the box ticked for a week or so.

Getting away from my stiff upper lip and back to daily life -I don’t even think i’m tired… I’m just in survival mode. Maybe that is just what being a parent is!

That makes it sound negative and believe me, it’s not, my boys bring me so so much joy but the title of my next blog is ‘RAGE’ so I think that tells you that not every moment is Hollywood perfection. Threenagers, my GOD. What is this devil child doing to me? Anyway, I’m saving that for the next one. Breathe.

I got slightly drunk with 3 of my best friends on Friday and it was so great… to have those rambling nonsensical conversations with the women that know you best, know your secrets, never judge (ok, I may be in denial on that one) and most of all knew you pre-children. It was nice to do something for me. It breaks up the….. and god I hate that I’m writing this word…. monotony. I don’t even want to talk about my hangover coping mechanisms on Saturday but suffice to say it involved rosè…

What all this has made me realise is that I miss this. I miss writing. It helps me organise my thoughts, it helps clear my head and it also helps with that feeling of monotony because this is something (like time with my friends) that I do for me. I’m going to make sure I find time to do it every week (write, not drink too much). I’ve certainly got enough to say as anyone who knows me will tell you.

I was telling my colleague that I think I have a book or two in me (doesn’t everyone think this though?). And I feel like this is a good way to start disciplining myself to sit and write and not find excuses to put it off. But I don’t want to stop the blog being fun to write either – there’s a balance.

I feel like this post has been a bit rambly and all over the place so, if you got this far, thanks for indulging me in my thought vomit. RAGE will be a far better constructed blog, promise.