Tag: mumlife

The lads and their food.

Right now, the 3 year old is just finishing an insane and quite stressful ‘hummus phase’. He was obsessed and it was all he asked for.

Why was it stressful you ask? Firstly, we kept running out and our schedule is so damn tight at the moment that nipping to a shop for hummus is tricky and a hassle… plus taking kids to the supermarket is just never nipping in is it?

Secondly…. the ‘vehicle’ in which we delivered the hummus was a continually evolving drama in itself. For a time, it could only be sucked from a finger, despite handy vegetables, pitta or toast fingers. Then it required a spoon! And not a toddler spoon, a grown up spoon. This week – it can only be eaten in a special wrap. I don’t even know what this means! I tried wholemeal, I tried white, I tried mini and I tried big. NONE OF THESE ARE THE SPECIAL WRAP!

Reading this back, I’m frustrated with myself, why am I indulging this pickiness. But the fact of the matter is, when it’s feeding time at the zoo, I’m tired from work, and I just cannot be bothered with the fight. Am I making a rod for my own back? Most likely.

As it happens he’s just told me he’d like a break so we are having a hummus holiday.

Benji is a very vocal nearly 3 year old and I like that he knows his own mind, but this has added to the food drama because he has decided he, in his own words, “only likes pasta sometimes and he doesn’t know which days that’s going to be”. So the pre-planning of meals is a joy at the moment.

And this brings me to food wastage. I’m trying to be good, environmentally conscious, but whoever these people are who tell us to waste nothing… these people do not have babies and toddlers. It. Is. Impossible.

Jake is a very good eater, he will eat anything and in huge volumes. It’s actually terrifying how much goes in there – and the subsequent nappies of course. But he’s also a baby and a lot goes on the floor. And as I’ve said, Benji gets a bit picky. There is a lot of food wasted. We don’t have a dog so this goes straight into the food waste bin and I feel, oh here it is, the familiar endless sensation of MUM GUILT.

What’s the other alternative? Me and Lad Dad eat it? As someone who puts a stone on if I even look at a cake, this is a bad habit that I have (mostly) dropped but it feels so wasteful and I hate it.

I have tried to balance this by massively reducing the food waste for me and Lad Dad. I am getting much better at using everything up and I’ve definitely reduced what we put into food waste, but some is inescapable. This is particularly tricky with James who isn’t as flexible as me with best before dates. I’m ready to risk most things the day after…

Our freezer is getting used a lot more though and it’s something I’m determined to continue. I also use our leftovers in the boys food. Here is my famous frittata uses up everything recipe… jokes, I’m not a recipe blog. Google one.

Now I just need to train Benji to eat everything mummy makes and teach Jakey to stop dropping food, that’s going to be easy right? Right?

(Incidentally.. the cakes in Benji’s picture that we made together? He refused to eat those. And nobody is allowed to judge me that Jake is eating a chip or two.)

Confident lads..

I’m sitting having a debate with myself, and will obviously be having one with lad dad, about how we feel about sharing pictures of the mini lads online. So far, I’ve been using shots of them from behind but I’m very aware that that’s probably not enough – plus the little fu… rascals won’t pose for many of those. 

I would obviously never post anything explicit or embarrassing but I do wonder whether it’s fair of me to do it without asking their permission, which they obviously cannot give… although, FACT, Benji would 100% say yes – that kid is vain. Every time I take a picture or video of him, he already wants first approval. 

You see, dear reader, Benji and Jake have been born to ‘confident people’. 

In fact, part of what attracted me to James (aka lad dad) is that, after dating two shy guys in a row, I was so happy that I could take him to a party where he knew nobody, leave him alone for an hour and he’d be fine. Within that hour, he’d have joined a football team, been invited to a barbecue and probably stolen a friend from me. I think he’d say the same of me, although not the football part obviously. I prefer gin.

This is of course, pre-kids… We do NOT attend parties these days, we attend chaotic and exhausting play dates. We DO attend barbecues, but they start at 12, and we’re home by 4 for our weekly Tesco delivery (other supermarkets are available). Day drinking is the new night drinking. 

Don’t get me wrong, of course I’m anxious about many things. Parenting has made me more anxious. I didn’t expect the constant underlying fear of bad things happening to them. A future topic I think. 

I’m not always as confident as I might appear. As I mentioned in my previous post, I’ve been having a confidence stumble about my return to work. And I can feel self-conscious about making new friends, although other parents, on the same journey, are generally amazing. (There are exceptions – cliquey mums are the worst). 

But generally, I’m a confident extrovert. So is James. 

Based on absolutely no science,  I think this means the boys will be confident too. I know they’re young and it’s too soon to say, especially with Jake, but Benji is an outgoing little lad. He seems to make friends easily and tells me he already has 10 best friends, and only one of them is not a real person. 

Sometimes I make the list, sometimes I don’t. I’m ok with that – I don’t want to end up with a 30 year old simpering about how his mummy is his best friend. 

Most of the time, I like that he’s confident, and I like it in me too. I’ve seen people struggle with shyness and it seems to be to be a harder path. Maybe I’m wrong and I’d welcome other opinions. However, I know confidence can come across as brashness, I’ve definitely been abrasive in my time and that’s not ideal either – it’s a trait I’ve got better at managing in my older age but I’m aware it can be a bit much.

My perspective is that I need to provide the foundations for them to feel secure, but keep them grounded as they grow up by slagging them off. Sensible parenting legend right here. 

In conclusion, I think some well-selected pictures can do no harm. As long as lad dad agrees. 

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