I’ve always been a fan of Grazia magazine and their endless campaigns for women’s rights and their community – ‘The Juggle UK’ -was always on my radar and I understood it and I thought I experienced it during maternity leave.
I can expressly say, now that I’m back working full time, both because I have to, because the world is falling apart and we need the money, but also I work full time, because ***MUM GUILT ALERT***, I also want to. Now, only NOW do I really experience, at least my own, circus act. Juggling doesn’t do it justice.
I am a tightrope walker with a basket of laundry blocking my view trying not to fall (I can carry two baskets these days, thank you genetic birthing hips…. Ironically not used for birthing but that’s another story and it seems I found a useful job for them anyway!)
I’m a trapeze artist holding on tightly to both kids while I swing them from nursery to home to friends to activities. I‘m an acrobat when it comes to speed tidying. I’m a clown because I’d rather be stupid and try to make them laugh than just try to ride out the tantrums. I’m 100% an animal trainer – except I think lions would be easier sometimes.
I’m definitely the ring master – and this is not a slight on Lad Dad in any way because he wants to help with everything but there are certain things I cannot release control of – menu planning, feeding the kids, making the weekend plans.
But… when does the circus close? After the kids go to bed, I’m lucky if I can keep my eyes open for two hours, and that can be verified by this sorely neglected blog. Do you know how I even found time to write this? I’m sick. Been slammed by some sort of chesty flu (not Covid!) which I reckon I got because I burn the candle at 8000 ends. I’m writing this in bed with a lemsip (other brands are available). I slept for 3 hours after the kids left this morning. I’m just so drained.
I hope it’s obvious that I would caveat this with the fact I love them deeply, wouldn’t change a thing, yadadada and that’s ALL true. Most the time I like the circus but right now I’m burned out.
I had my review at work the other day and my manager asked me if I think I stretch myself too thin… and I know that the answer to that is yes but how can I not. My kids need me, I like to perform well at my job. There’s no plates I can drop at the moment, except it seems, this creative outlet. So, to mix up my analogies, I guess I keep juggling.
And try not to drop the blog. Because this is mine, and it’s not appropriate for the circus.
Mummy And Her Lads 