I’m sitting having a debate with myself, and will obviously be having one with lad dad, about how we feel about sharing pictures of the mini lads online. So far, I’ve been using shots of them from behind but I’m very aware that that’s probably not enough – plus the little fu… rascals won’t pose for many of those.
I would obviously never post anything explicit or embarrassing but I do wonder whether it’s fair of me to do it without asking their permission, which they obviously cannot give… although, FACT, Benji would 100% say yes – that kid is vain. Every time I take a picture or video of him, he already wants first approval.
You see, dear reader, Benji and Jake have been born to ‘confident people’.
In fact, part of what attracted me to James (aka lad dad) is that, after dating two shy guys in a row, I was so happy that I could take him to a party where he knew nobody, leave him alone for an hour and he’d be fine. Within that hour, he’d have joined a football team, been invited to a barbecue and probably stolen a friend from me. I think he’d say the same of me, although not the football part obviously. I prefer gin.
This is of course, pre-kids… We do NOT attend parties these days, we attend chaotic and exhausting play dates. We DO attend barbecues, but they start at 12, and we’re home by 4 for our weekly Tesco delivery (other supermarkets are available). Day drinking is the new night drinking.
Don’t get me wrong, of course I’m anxious about many things. Parenting has made me more anxious. I didn’t expect the constant underlying fear of bad things happening to them. A future topic I think.
I’m not always as confident as I might appear. As I mentioned in my previous post, I’ve been having a confidence stumble about my return to work. And I can feel self-conscious about making new friends, although other parents, on the same journey, are generally amazing. (There are exceptions – cliquey mums are the worst).
But generally, I’m a confident extrovert. So is James.
Based on absolutely no science, I think this means the boys will be confident too. I know they’re young and it’s too soon to say, especially with Jake, but Benji is an outgoing little lad. He seems to make friends easily and tells me he already has 10 best friends, and only one of them is not a real person.
Sometimes I make the list, sometimes I don’t. I’m ok with that – I don’t want to end up with a 30 year old simpering about how his mummy is his best friend.
Most of the time, I like that he’s confident, and I like it in me too. I’ve seen people struggle with shyness and it seems to be to be a harder path. Maybe I’m wrong and I’d welcome other opinions. However, I know confidence can come across as brashness, I’ve definitely been abrasive in my time and that’s not ideal either – it’s a trait I’ve got better at managing in my older age but I’m aware it can be a bit much.
My perspective is that I need to provide the foundations for them to feel secure, but keep them grounded as they grow up by slagging them off. Sensible parenting legend right here.
In conclusion, I think some well-selected pictures can do no harm. As long as lad dad agrees.
I enjoyed reading this post it’s very honest I love it
Waiting for other parents to agree with me or tell me off
[…] and friends, choosing presents, time off work etc, but after the utter fudging (see, I’m watching my swearing!) debacle…
We mums must stick together. Grandmums too. 🤭
Mummy And Her Lads 
Thank you Donna, I see I haven’t taken my own advice to write more so that’s my January project!